Niggle

Niggle.  This is a GREAT word.  First because niggle rhymes with wiggle and wiggle always makes me giggle. Second because it seems so very British and I think the Brits have a great way with words. I haven’t heard many Americans use this word, have you?  Besides, niggle keeps coming up in my spell check suggesting that I try sniggle instead.  To sniggle is to fish for eels by thrusting a baited hook into their lurking places.  Gross. Let’s move on.  One more and final reason why niggle is a GREAT word is because it is a really good way to describe what many MSers go through on a daily basis.  Well, at least what I am putting myself through every day.  Let me explain. 

According to my sources, the definition of niggle is:  worry unnecessarily or excessively.  To niggle is to be preoccupied with details.  To niggle is to worry, to fret, to fuss. Admittedly, I niggle every day about every little feeling in my body. The burning in my legs, the numbing in my fingers and the blue spots I see with my left eye are all things I niggle about. I find that as I become more aware of my body and its sensations I tend to worry more.  I fret more.  Allow me to share a few highlights of my daily niggling.

“My legs are burning up.  Is this my normal?”  I niggle. “Or, is this another obnoxious relapse?”  I niggle some more.  “Nope, these symptoms are the same that I’ve had for the last few months.  Silly.  It’s just a little warmer outside so the burning is stronger.  After all, it is 100 degrees out there!”  I niggle next about the tingling in my right hand.  “All I did was water the plants this afternoon!  Why does my hand feel so dead?  Am I having a disabling relapse?”  I niggle.  “Your hand has felt like this for the last year”, I remind myself, “It’s just flaring up a wee bit”.  “But what if it never gets better?”  Good grief.  All this niggling!  I always revert back to my greatest source of niggling, my left eye. I announce to my partner, my kitties, my neighbors, whoever is listening, “just to let you know, I am seeing blue lights and my left eye is NOT right today”.  I niggle.  Again with the routine of covering my right eye with my hand and observing what I see with my gimp left eye.  I switch, covering my left eye and observing what I see with my right eye.  I compare notes and I niggle. “Oh brother, I am not seeing things clearly and was that a sharp shooting pain I just felt?  Do I need to call the neuro doc?”  I remind myself that I’ve been through this before and the neuro doc has assured me that my retina will re-adjust.  And so it goes.  Niggle. Repeat. Every. Day. 

Yes, the word niggle is perfect for us MSers but seriously cannot be good for an MSer like me to go through every day.  I am an official MS niggler and ‘tis no good. Aren’t I supposed to eliminate stressors?  

I really should take a break to meditate. 

OMMMMM... 

Be Thankful for Your Jewels

I just read an interview between author Toni Berhnard and doctor-blogger Elisha Goldstein, PH.D and was introduced to this great ancient poem. Inspired by Ms. Berhnard, I printed this poem too and now keep it in my MS journal as a reminder to be thankful for the jewels in my life despite my MS.

One, seven, three, five –

Nothing to rely on in this or any world;

Nighttime falls and the water is flooded with moonlight.

Here in the Dragon’s jaws:

Many exquisite jewels.

—Setcho Juken

This interview is available online through this link:  How to Be Sick: An Interview with Toni Bernhard, courtesy of "Mindfulness & Psychotherapy".  

Best,

C

Exacerbations, who needs them!

I often have trouble speaking some words, tongue tying and butchering all kinds of beautiful words. My attempts at saying things correctly have turned into a major source of amusement for my supporters (aka my dear friends and family) and me as I get coached into speaking things correctly.  Ha, ha.  Allow me to share with you one of those silly moments through this audio snippet.  This was recorded during a family car ride as I attempted "exacerbations".  




  Exacerbation by cgermans


One of the best sources of amusements for me is the ability to laugh at myself!  


C

The Sky's the Limit on Fighting MS

Hello Friends,


This is a pretty incredible endeavor.  A small plane will travel all over the globe, flying MS-ers who need treatment to MS hospitals and flying MS specialists to financially-strapped MS hospitals.  Wow.  Click this link to find out more about this amazing journey:  The Sky's Not the Limit.


Best,
Christie

Upcoming Webinar: Excercise and MS

This webinar series is great.  I've attended two already, sneaking away from the office early to attend the 5PM sessions in my local coffee shop, and have really gotten a lot out of them.  I found them to be perfect for newly diagnosed MS-ers.  The last one, "Practical Spirituality" with Lisa Redfearn was a great reminder for me to love, laugh, let go and live.  This is important.  


It looks like the next one is about MS and exercise and is scheduled for September 14, 2010.  Be sure to sign up today!  And, encourage your supporter partners to attend too.  


Click here to sign up for the FREE webinar:  Can Do MS Webinar Series.  You'll find archived webinars here as well.  


Best,
Christie

What are these pins for?

My neuro doc was a little late for our appointment last month and there was little to do in the exam room while we waited.  Read some magazines?  Nah, that’s such a cliché and I was not in the mood to read about the ridiculous lives of our movie stars.  I did what I would normally do:  I took a visual scan of the room. 

First I noticed on the bureau shelf lots of great literature about MS, courtesy of the National MS Society.  I grabbed a bunch of brochures, to share with friends and family.  Someone surely, besides me, wants to read about how stress impacts MS.  “These will be great to hand out during dinner parties”, I thought.  Everything else in the room was boring:  normal exam table, typical doc’s cabinet (what do they store in there anyway?) and a stool with wheels.  Yet, aside from these typical exam room accoutrements, I noticed a picture of the brain sitting on a medical tray table and directly in front it was a little cup filled with safety pins.  Curious.  “What are these pins for?” I asked. My partner and I explored further, picked up the cup of pins and examined its entirety.  We wondered for a few minutes.  We did not have a clue what these were for. This was random, this cup of pins.  Then it hit me.  It’s the only possible reason.  I thought to myself “this room must be shared with a baby doctor and these are used to pin diapers.  What is this 1971?”     

Finally, the exam room door opened and my neuro doc’s assistant arrived.  I welcomed the interruption to my stream of consciousness because I really could not figure out why a neurologist would share an exam room with a gynecologist!  And, besides, this was my chance to find out what these pins were doing there.  I asked, “What are these pins for?  What does the doc use these for?”  My neuro doc’s assistant replied “oh, those are used by the Other Doctor and she uses them on her patients to find out how numb they are”.  WHAT???  She pokes her patients with safety pins???  That’s awful.  I envisioned patients sitting on the exam table while they have pins poked into their bodies and wondered just how far this Other Doctor goes.   Are the pins inserted into a patient until one yells out, “Yes!  I can feel that!”  I got stressed out thinking about this and hoped that this was not a new technique that my neuro doc will begin using.  Or perhaps this is something he’s always done and just forgot to include me.  My neuro doc’s assistant sensed my panic and assured me this is not something I need to worry about.  My neuro doc does not use these pins to determine his patient’s numbness she told me.  Thank goodness.   Now I can look forward to my neuro doc striking that metal instrument along on the bottoms’ of my feet.  YOWZA!!!!!  

C  

1st Known MS Case Was Dutch!

1400:  the earliest written record of someone with MS was Lidwina of Schiedam, the Dutch patron saint of ice skaters.

This is incredible especially because my family heritage is 100% Dutch (minus that Polish bit) and have the passion of ice-skating.  My dad ice-skates nearly every week and my Amsterdammer aunt ice skates on the frozen waters of Holland during the winter months.  I am finding this all very strange.  First MS case:  Dutch.  My heritage:  Dutch.   Lidwina’s passion:  ice-skating. My family’s passion:  ice-skating.  Wild.    

Anyhoo, read Lidwina’s story here.  It’s pretty interesting:  Lidwina of Schiedam

C